I'm feeling a change in myself, ever so slowly.

This project is growing up, it's been a part of many chapters of my life, it's created many chapters within itself, I feel like I've left 2 albums in the past, 2 massive changing points in my life that have been a part of this album. I've written and erased dozens of songs to get to where I am today, and it's still changing. I'm looking forward to the day where I can press stop, and let this series of events, this album, float into the past.

I wonder how insignificant it will look as a piece of music, then again...none of these words are supposed to justify the quality of the music.
This is just how it is.

This very long step in getting to where I want to be, to start my life...is slowly coming to a close.

And the gates will open into the unknown.
It's about time.

No matter what happens to me and my career as a musician, no matter how well or poorly this album does, I want to remember how I got here, and who helped and guided me along the way, because this album is in fact a product of my imagination, but it has only become a reality because of the people involved in my personal and musical life. Their believe and excitement in their desire to see what I can create is what is most inspiring.

The fact that they believe in what I could create in the near or distant future is what I want to remember.

And I only hope one day, I can pass what has been given to me, to my own family and friends, and someone who needs it.

Everybody needs something to believe in.

All The Night Her Dream Passes By My Bed

Remember sanity friends? Cuz I sure as hell don't.

Writing is going either very well or very terrible depending on how you look at it.

On the bright side I have lots of ideas

on the flipside

they aren't commercial
they aren't finished
and they're are too many to think about, which could also go on the bright side.

I've had a few talks with friends and family about what makes a good "single". Something for the radio, I really want to find something that has a balance between something i'm artistically proud of and something that would sell to your average person.

I fear that such balance does not exist, maybe it does though? You never know.

I'm just going to flat out say it thought, I'm stalling..or atleast it feels like I am, mostly because I'm afraid of....a huge list of things, not being prepared is one of the top ones.

I also have the constant fear that I'm fooling my producer into thinking I'm something I'm not.

It's actually going to fade soon as always, everyone hits ruts...consider this my annual evening of shame. (It's not as bad as it sounds...I think)

I wonder if there will be a day when a fan of mine many years from now, finds this blog and reads all these old entries, what a weird feeling that would be. I hope when that day comes i'm still writing in here.

I'm also starting to come to terms with the fact that It's hard to keep my own attention on one thing because I'm terribly restless.